"I'm Not Happy", she said.

My love for you has to be so strong. It must be because even in the face of the inevitable... even with foreshaddowing at its best I can't accept it. I guess I keep saying it over and over because I know deep down I would be torn in two. I would be completely severed from the softness and the joy and the partner that I AM in love with if I just accepted your words.

I will not, or better yet, I can not accept that. I will use my words of love and devotion to bind you, to keep you from fleeing. I know that if love isn't the reason then we are still strong even though I am naked in a crowd of people now. So confident you were in the beginning saying sweetly in my ear, "please don't hurt me". Here I am almost 2 years later fumbling with words that seem so unarmed. I'm not sure if a one woman army is enough to hold off all of your fears and determination. I'm not sure why being determined makes you so quick in disabling my defenses.

I remember nights when I would lie awake unable to sleep because the thoughts just ran through my mind. I couldn't focus during the days because I let my defeat and my disappointment in the circumstances consume my every action. Surely I am just dreaming. Surely I will awake to see it was only a nightmare. Why am I here if this is real. It has to be a test, no. Well then it has to be fate. Why else is my life so without any real meaning. And then I discovered you.

My little piece of completeness. My little piece of purpose. I see that every time you smile at me with your eyes. I have known this for a few months now. My life and my purpose is directly involved with you and your life. Together I feel that we have found reasons for all the pain and all the blah in life. All the unhappiness in the world can crash around me but I know that you are right there next to me when I can't take it and when I can't understand it. That to me is worth every "I love you" and every "I miss you".

This kind of love dosen't come along twice in one lifetime.